


The Apology

by IvanW



Series: Stand-Alone Stories [30]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Ficlet, M/M, Romance, Short One Shot, Trying to Break My Writing Funk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-08-06 23:59:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16397537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvanW/pseuds/IvanW
Summary: Jim owes Spock an apology





	The Apology

**Author's Note:**

> MyLochka created this beautiful fanwork. Please give her your love  
> [(Fanart) The Apology](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17914637)

“Mister Spock, have you got a minute?”

“Yes, Captain.”

Jim nodded and gestured to his quarters. “It won’t take long.”

He waited for Spock to go inside and then followed in after him, waiting for the door to slide closed once more before speaking.

“I wanted to apologize for the things I said earlier.” His stomach hurt, clenching in on itself, his heartbeat raced, his palms sweated. His brain was filled with massive regrets.

Spock said nothing.

Jim continued, “Sometimes I just don’t know how to keep my mouth shut, you know? A habit I’ve pretty much had all my life and believe me it’s gotten me into a lot of trouble.”

“I believe you.”

“Yeah. So.” He pulled at the collar of his uniform which suddenly seemed to be choking him. “Everything I said? Forget it. I mean I know you can’t with your memory or whatever but disregard it. It was just me being stupid and saying stuff that was absolutely uncalled for.”

Spock nodded. “I understand, Captain.”

“You’re an excellent first officer. And the best science officer in the fleet. Everyone knows that. And if I offended you in any way—”

“Rest assured, Captain, no offense was taken.”

“Yeah?” Jim blew out a breath. “Good. Good then. Because I don’t ever want to make you uncomfortable, Spock. You may think I’m kidding here, but I live in fear every day that I’ll say something to make you request a transfer or quit Starfleet altogether.” Jim laughed nervously.

“Every day, Captain?”

He smiled crookedly. “Pretty much, yeah. I admit to being somewhat pathetic. After all you did almost leave.” He paused. “More than once.”

At that, Spock arched his brows.

“Well, you know, after Nero.” He winced. Jim hated mentioning Nero because a mention of Nero inevitably led to Spock thinking of his mother. Not that Spock didn’t think about her anyway. “And then again, more recently.”

“You thought of leaving recently as well. At least command of the Enterprise.”

“You-you know about that?”

Spock nodded. “Nyota informed me. She heard from reliable sources.”

“It’s true, I did.” Jim shrugged. “But it was a mistake. A moment of weakness I now regret.”

“I am sure that weak moments are quite rare these days.”

Jim laughed, the nervous laugh again. And he wanted to stop, he really did. Because he was fairly sure he sounded pretty idiotic.

“Anyway,” he said, wanting to change the subject, because really he was aware plenty of people in Starfleet still thought he was something of a buffoon after all this time, and sometimes he feared Spock was right along with them in his opinion. “I hope we’re okay.”

“Indeed, Captain.”

He almost said call him Jim for probably the hundredth time but he resisted. This didn’t seem like that kind of moment. “That’s it then, Spock. Thank you for your time.”

Spock nodded and headed for the door of Jim’s quarters.

And then Jim decided to open his big stupid mouth again.

“I meant every word though.”

What the hell was wrong with him? Seriously. Why?

Spock stopped just shy of the door but he didn’t turn around.

“That is…you can disregard them, unless you…unless you don’t want to. Is what I mean.”

For several heartbeats, Spock did nothing. He did not move a muscle. And the longer this went on, the more Jim deflated and wanted to shrink in to himself.

Then so slowly, Jim was certain he must be imagining it, Spock turned around to face him once more.

“I would rather not disregard them,” Spock said in his very quietest voice.

Jim darted his tongue out to moisten his dry lips. “Yeah?” So smooth, Kirk.

“Because.” Spock stopped and walked closer to Jim, so close he could feel Spock’s breath upon his cheek. “Because those words mirror my own feelings.”

“They…do?”

“I do not believe I would have worded it quite the way you did but—”

“What?” Jim laughed. “You wouldn’t say ‘I want to jump you, crawl up you, and taste every inch of you?’”

Spock inclined his head. “On second thought, perhaps I would.”

Jim sucked in a breath. “Spock, I—”

His words, his breath, were stolen by Spock’s lips on his.

Maybe there was nothing to regret after all.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [(Fanart) The Apology](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17914637) by [Mylochka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mylochka/pseuds/Mylochka)




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